Paranoid Schizophrenia?

Submitted by alexford, August 02, 2012

Hi there.

Lately, my family and friends say they are becoming increasingly concerned about my erratic behaviour. In the span of a week, I have managed to break a keyboard, throw a cup at a wall (putting a large dent in it), cry in front of my ex's house for half an hour until he threatened to call the cops, and intentionally overdose on 2C-B (a designer Phenethylamine). I am starting to worry that I may have schizophrenia.

Lately, everything gets to me, my depression is at an all time high, and I no longer enjoy doing the things I used to. Additionally, late at night, I sometimes hear a quiet whisper or very, very quiet scream (I can tell it is a scream from the pitch and tone, rather than the volume) in the back of my head. I can't explain why, but I know that they are not outside stimuli, and they feel somewhat "different" than a normal "moment of wild imagination", leaving me extremely scared and nervous.

I have aspergers, among other things, but with my history of psychedelics, and my age (18), it makes me extremely worried, as I have, for lack of a better phrase, brewed up a "perfect storm" for introducing a latent mental illness.

While I take online tests with a grain of salt (can't really trust them), I am getting very high scores on schizophrenia "tests", finishing one test, for example, with a whopping score of 31, (with 15 or more being "cause for concern") and these are not entirely unreasonable questions to ask (hearing voices, people plotting to hurt me, etc.).

I'm very worried, and need answers before I do something REALLY crazy.

Thanks

The thing is, these made

The thing is, these made absolutely perfect sense as I was doing them, and it wasn't until yesterday that it occured to me "well, that's not right". Another symptom is that, every so often, I feel that there's just something "wrong" with the universe, like one tiny, little thing is askew, but I have no idea what it is, and it makes me feel very paranoid, especially in hindsight.

While bipolar disorder occured to me, I don't have any manic episodes.

Hi Alexford, With such little

Hi Alexford,

With such little information, I can only give you an idea of possibilities - please don't construe this as an official diagnosis of any sort.

As I read through the description of your behaviors, it doesn't sound like schizophrenia at all to me. That being said, schizophrenia usually develops in late adolescence and early to mid-20s in males, and late 20s in females (although it can develop earlier and later for both genders as well). So, there is a slight possibility of your symptoms being early signs, but honestly, that wouldn't be the direction I would initially go based on this information.

The things you describe fit better with borderline personality disorder, but again, not nearly enough information to really say. Borderlines can be very erratic, have fits of rage (as you've described), are very moody - going from happy and upbeat to sad, angry, depressed very quickly, and often engage in suicidal and self-harm gestures (e.g. overdosing, cutting on themselves). They can also experience bouts of depression.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder sometimes experience brief psychotic symptoms, which fits the "whisper" or "quiet scream" you describe, as well as the paranoid ideation.

If you are already being treated by a mental health professional for your Aspergers, I would recommend that you talk to him or her about these symptoms. If not, I suggest that you see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional (preferably someone who is very experienced in working with individuals with Aspergers, as that dynamic is important) for an evaluation.

At this point, however, I doubt you have (or are developing) schizophrenia, especially if there is no family history of it.

I hope this helps!

Dr. Cheryl Lane